Sideswipe - July 2010

26 July 2010

Thanks to Parallel Universe for your excellent columns over the past couple of weeks and some great advice on call up holes, and keeping trundlers clear of the greens in the current conditions.

Conditions during the week were more spring like than winter and it was pleasant to play without multiple layers of clothing and jackets weighing one down. However it still remains very wet underfoot and the greens, especially the old soil greens are very lumpy even after just a little traffic. It would help if everyone was mindful of avoiding standing close to the hole when retrieving your ball after putting – On the weekend I noticed many footprints within 10cm of the hole, making putting even more of lottery than it need be.

It is great to hear some exciting talk around the juniors lately.  The boys whose ages range from 13 – 17, playing in the under 19 boys pennant competition, have had two great wins in recent weeks, over teams that include far more experienced players, and even some Bissett reps. Hayden and Tash have been helping them out recently and tell me there is so really promising talent there. They are playing their last pennant match at home this Sunday –and it would be worth coming along and checking these guys out.

Several players ventured south on the weekend to the Cambridge Masters to try their luck (at the golf that is - mostly). This is a 27 hole masters stroke play tournament held on the Sunday and with both gross and net prizes it is pretty much open to anyone with a handicap really. A group went down on Saturday morning and took advantage of a free practice round on offer to get their eye in and stayed over in Hamilton on Saturday night and then back to the 27 hole tournament on Sunday. It needs to be said that the nocturnal Roger Harris and Dave Izzard could do with writing to Santa for some togs for Christmas and anyone rooming with Will ‘Agent Orange' Zimmerli needs to deselect Tapas and red wine as a restaurant option. Despite a frosty start on Sunday, the weather for the tournament was beautiful and the greens were true (but slowish). No flash scores to write home about, with the best net score going to Michael Connor coming in 7th (who was apparently inspired by playing partner Henry Vaeoso's caddie).  These masters tournaments are great fun to play in and not too far out of town for people to be home in time for dinner on Sunday night. There is always a group going down to these and people need to check around and join up with others if they want to participate.

As for the weekly results Kevin (The Hutch) spoilt everyone's day on Wednesday by shooting a top class 72 and 40 stableford points in wet underfoot conditions and on difficult greens. Les Breingan thought that he had the field shot to pieces with 37 points only to find he was again the bridesmaid.

On Saturday the pro shop scramble was a par event and four players shared the honours. Dave Snow, Jamie Davison, Carl Gould and Vern Pere  all shot plus 3. Carl tells me he was plus 6 after playing 15 and proceeded to double the last 3 holes. Any big tournaments coming up Carl……?

Too many players turned up for the men's Sunday school comp and unfortunately quite a few players had to wait for a later tee time. Pro shop Pete took out the winnings with a creditable 38 points from Phil McCamish 36 points. Pete shared the pro shop scramble with Mark Walsh and Chris Roberts who also scored 38 points.

So until next week remember to keep your big clod hoppers away from the hole.

The Mantis

19 July 2010

Parallel Universe here, filling in again for The Mantis.

Another week goes by for us all at Akarana and despite having some really fine days recently (albeit very cold overnight/early in the morning) we are now getting the heavy winter rain and this will naturally make the course wet and muddy underfoot. Players need to be respectful of the white lines in front of the greens and around the course and keep the trundlers out of these areas (with perhaps the occasional infraction if not doing so would really hold up the play). The greenkeeping staff usually write “keep off” for a reason and often it is as much for safety as it is for protecting the course.

Despite the heavy going underfoot, there are still a few mudlarks out there shooting the scores. The Wednesday Brian Treacy school was taken out by the well buffed Henry Vaeoso on an impressive 39 points, from the ever-sheepish Steve Plant (Muttley from Wacky Races – separated at birth?) on 37 points. Henry also took out the scramble, closely pursued by Andy Fraser on 38 points. Someone in the green staff definitely got out of the wrong side of bed that morning as the pin placements were brutal and the greens were speedy. Most of the field struggled to get the ball in the hole.

The Saturday scramble was taken out by Bruce Black (is this is déjà vu all over again – both Henry and Bruce featured last week as well) with a very impressive 40 points closely followed by Bill Lee on 39 and pennants compadres Simon Muir and Dan McGall with 38 points. Jamie Davidson really smoked it on Sunday with a round of 69 (with 5 birdies) for 41 points to show the Sunday field a clean pair of heels, with the ever lurking Abdi on 39 points and Shane Cooper on 38 points.

Our man in the field, Hayden McCallum, reports that the Junior Pennants had a good win versus Remuera at Whitford on Sunday. Wins were recorded by Josh Ioelu, Nathan Kim and Heaven Jeon, but the shot of the day belonged to Jordan Loof who rifled down a 3 wood to 10 feet on the tricky par three 9th hole and binned the putt for a 2 to halve his match. Hayden says some of the other clubs have some pretty strong players but he says our team is improving with experience and plenty of practice. Keep up the good work.

Are call up holes dangerous? Well it depends on your level of intelligence. I have noticed recently some not too smart play on some of the call up holes. In fact it is pretty much death wish sort of stuff. Last week on one of the par 3 holes, the people calling us up just stood there in the middle of the green while we pinged balls off the tee at them (on a downwind hole). One ball was very close to landing on one of their heads, yet the ball landed pin high. And how many times have you seen people standing on the hill on the left of the 8th green in front of the bunker and then watching people hit up at them. Maybe some people are unhappy with their lives and want to be hit – I certainly don't – surely it would be easier to call the Samaritans than take a golf ball on the head? It is really too much to ask for the group to stand right to the back of the green when calling up? Is it worth a ball on the head and a trip to the hospital or even worse a discussion with St Peter the merits of standing at the back of the green when calling up. Try and be a bit smarter people.

In my opinion, the whole point of call up holes to try and regulate the flow of traffic around the golf course. Although the holes say ‘compulsory call up holes', if people apply a little bit of common sense to calling up then call up holes can shave 15-20 minutes off a round on a very busy day. For example, unless the next tee is completely backed up, I personally would not call a 2/3 ball up (and likewise if I was a 3 ball on the tee I would be waving a 4 ball on) as a 2/3 ball should be able to make up lost ground on a 4 ball fairly quickly and this keeps the field moving along at a reasonable pace as well. Also if the course is completely clear in front then simply wave that group calling up on (and give them the polite hint to speed it up a little when you get down there if you have to) but by making them call you up they simply get further behind. Accepting a call up and then telling them to hurry up is not smart in my opinion. People need to bear in mind that everyone's golf is not to the same standard and some take more shots than others. That is not an excuse for slow play, but sometimes a little latitude in this respect is required.

I noticed last week that the Kohn Rosebowl to be held on Sunday August 15th has changed from a mixed pairs to a 3 person ambrose event requiring 2 men and a lady in each team. I find the mixed events at Akarana enjoyable and a good opportunity to play with and meet different members of the club. If you want to play in this but do not have a team already in mind, just make yourself known to the pro shop staff and they will endeavour to find other ‘strays' to make up a team. You would be surprised how often a ‘made up' team wins these events, so feel free to come along and play and enjoy the day.

Back to the Mantis next week. Try to not kill each other on the golf course. Golf is supposed to be fun.

Parallel Universe

12 July 2010

Parallel Universe here, deputising this week for The Mantis who has disappeared off somewhere.

Well the winter conditions are really here now and the course is doing its best to hang on in there but inevitably we are looking for the plugged balls now. This can slow play down if the rest of the playing group did not watch where your shot went, so we need to pay more attention to where the shots are going in our respective fours to make sure we are looking for it in the right place and not on a wild goose chase. Pay attention everyone and keep the play moving.

Also it was very frosty on Saturday morning and the early tee times on Saturday morning were playing in frosty conditions, although the greens were playable. Early players in the frost need to be aware that their sprigs can frost up and they can therefore damage the greens quite significantly if you then walk on them with the ice balls formed on your shoes, so have the presence of mind to tap the ice off your sprigs before you go onto the greens otherwise it is like walking on the greens in high heels and that's not good for them at all.

After a concerted campaign in recent weeks by the pro shop staff to get everyone to use their pitch mark repairers, it does look like this is having some positive effect on the greens. However, in a recent bar conversation with Bevan he did comment that the tee boxes could also do with similar attention and I must say in recent weeks I have almost fallen down some of the deep holes on the par 3 tees, so again please fill in your tee divots on the tee boxes with the sand that is available. A little more effort makes the course better for all of us and replacing tee boxes is a very expensive exercise that we all have to pay for.

The Wednesday Brian Treacy school was taken out with a very handy 39 points from the Simon le Bon lookalike, Mr Tony Williams (also taking out the Pro Shop scramble). Close behind on 38 points was Kenny Collins (sans Patrick this week) and also the long arm of the law in the shape of Karl Steadman reached out and grabbed 38 points as well. Good going in pretty wet underfoot conditions.

The Doug Reid Memorial competition over the past 10 Wednesdays was taken out by Michael Connor, who fell across the line and won by a whisker (15 strokes) from forlorn chasers Henry Winsor and Steve Collins. However the results on Wednesday were completely overshadowed by a bombshell from regular Wednesday middle sponsor, our beloved Irishman Patrick Deane, who issued a threat to withdraw from Wednesday play after having more rings than Liberace in his latest round. This was discussed at length over a few beers and there were several anxious low handicappers (who invariably partner Patrick as the low marker in the four ball) watching proceedings very closely with some hope that this threat would become a reality and that their wallets would not be lightened if their ball comes out with Patrick next week. Finally Patrick relented and swore to redouble his efforts (and use his woods off the tee during the winter) next week and vowed to return to restore his reputation and when Brian pulls the balls from the bag for next week's middle I am sure there will be considerable breath holding and buttock clenching amongst the lower markers (who could well do with some buttock clenching in any case, especially the West Ham supporter) to see who draws the short straw. Oh the pain, the pain......

May I say this Wednesday group run by Brian Treacy is an Akarana institution and the source of a lot of fun and banter. It is open to all male players with a handicap (max 24) and all you have to do is turn up on Wednesday at 11.15am (you don't need to book a tee time) and make yourself known to Brian Treacy (the pro shop staff will point him out for you) and your ball will go in the bag and come out at random with 3 other players and then you are on your way. The middle has a $10 entry per player and each team plays the other teams for $5 a team per member and is settled up over a beer in the bar afterwards. This haggle is played under tournament conditions and rules are strictly applied, so if you want to get some tournament conditions golf under your belt this is a good way to improve your game and to meet other members along the way. A lot of tournament winners and hardened pennants players come out of this school, so it obviously works.

The scoring conditions were tough on Saturday and only three scramble competitors beat par – Henry Vaeso with a fine 39 points and Carl Gould and Nigel Perkins (trying not to kill the writer this week) coming in with 37 points. And only the steady (and unflappable) Bruce Black and Donald Stewart were able to beat par on Sunday with 37 points each with the next best being 34 points. Good golfing fellas.

Until next week, fix those pitch marks and fill in those tee divots.

Parallel Universe

5 July 2010

Until yesterday I didn't think winter was treating us too bad really – yeah I know we've had a bit of rain but we can hardly complain about the cold can we?

Well let me tell you about yesterday at Muriwai Golf Club  - I think about 8 pairs from Akarana ventured out west for the Muriwai Masters, despite predictions of dire weather conditions - and most of us managed to get through the first 18 holes without getting too wet, although over five hours was the norm for the round. Unfortunately things only got worse in the afternoon when the wind and rain came in with a vengeance and temperatures dropped by 20 degrees – after five holes and almost two hours of torture in the afternoon, my group conceded to the conditions and retired to a cold shower and a war bar, only to find we were one of only a few who actually went out in the afternoon. All credit to those that stuck with it all the way to the end – you need a medal. I believe Michael Connor & Allan Middleton were one of a few groups to finish and no doubt collected a prize for their bravery.

Back to Akarana – where the conditions were only marginally better on Wednesday yet all the regulars fronted for the mid week haggle. In tough conditions Will (The Ref) Zimmerli & Michael Connor (VC) won out on the day with 35 points from the Waipu crook Kevin Flower, and Tony Williams with 33. Michael Connor continues to hold a mortgage on the Doug Reid Memorial as he leads going into the final round this Wednesday by 14 points from Steve Collins.

May WE also offer OUR congratulations to John Lister on his recent birthday – his playing colleagues were heard singing Happy Birthday on Wednesday and then handed over his winnings for the day. From all accounts every day is his birthday now he's out to a 21 handicap. Maybe could be a dark horse for the Super City Mayor ……

Saturday was a much brighter day and as to be expected a full field turned up to contest the Coltman, Roskill, and Fuller cups in their respective divisions. Paul Grace from The Marist Mafia ran away with the top division with 41 stablefords on the day, from Johnny Hyun with 38. Bill Lee with 41 points just managed to edge out a likely trio in Kenny Collins, Dave Waswo, and Kevin Flower who all rattled home with 40 points in the Roskill Cup. And in the Fuller Cup Roger High also scored 40 points to take the trophy from Andrew Wright.

I'm taking a break next week – so see if you can guess who is bringing you next weeks column.
 

Past swipes

June 2010 swipes

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