We've all heard his friendly voice booming out at Twilight golf prizegiving (all the more booming since we installed the new sound system! - ed). He's one of our favourite characters and we asked him to share his views on Akarana's shortest, but certainly not easiest, holes - the 5th.

"I guess the best way to start is to say that since the golf course had gone under such a big and wonderful transformation is that the golf Pro Shop now sells 2-3 times as many golf balls in the last 2 years compared to the previous 2 years, with many golfers showing despair as yet another ball goes into the lakes.

Take the par 3 5th hole for example. It is no. 12 stroke hole, 157 metres from an elevated tee. I would normally use either a 5-iron or a 5-wood. The problem being a creek to cross at 100 metres. In front of the green on the left and right are 2 bunkers. Immediately to the right of the green is a large lake. On the left hand side of the green there is a path - hit that and the ball just fires onto the 6th fairway. And just behind the green is yet another bunker. Added to this, even if you make the green, you can often be left with a 20-30 metre putt.

Any time I walk off hole 5 with a 4 for 2 points, I'm a happy man!".